My eyes stung from the neon lights that lit up each storefront. The smell of Cinnabon and perspiration filled my nostrils. My sweaty hands gripped the slippery handle of the the shopping cart. My heart began to race. I was in West Edmonton Mall - the largest mall in North America. I had one hour until the mall would close it's doors forever. I desperately needed shoes, sandals, blouses, work dresses, happy hour attire, shorts...the list swirled frantically in my mind as I imagined all the purchases I was about to make. "Go!" someone screamed authoritatively over the loudspeaker. I tightened my grip on my cart and attempted to push it forward towards "Express," on of my favorite clothing stores. Sweat began dripping down my face. I was immediately met with resistance. My cart was stuck. I examined the wheels - one wheel was square in shape, one was triangular, one was the size of large truck wheel, and one wheel was just blatantly missing. Tightening every muscle in my body, I pushed and pulled the cart to no avail. It would not budge. After an hour of failure to move the cart, I awoke with a start. My face was wet from the tears of disappointment.
That, my friends, is the nightmare of someone who needs to shop.
Bahahaha! True story.
My last legitimate shopping experience took place on December 27, 2019. If I would have known that was going to be the last time I would have embraced the experience in all of its glory, I would have caressed the polyester fabric of that flowery-print blouse one more time.
Although our borders are slowly opening in a phased approach, it is not in our best interest to presently leave the island if we expect to come back in a timely manner READ: or if I expect to stay employed.
Presently, the government is allowing residents, work permit holders, home owners, and - this just in - parents/children of residents to come to Cayman. They require a negative Covid test within 48 hours of travel, must attain permission from the Government to come, are fitted with a tracking device on arrival, and must quarantine for 14 days. They are now allowing people to quarantine at home instead of the Government facility but everyone in that house must quarantine as well. So, for example, if I wanted my mom to come and visit (which I desperately desperately do), all 3 of us would have to quarantine together for 14 days, which would prevent me from attending work for 2 weeks (working remotely is no longer approved in my line of work). I'm still cautiously hopeful for a Christmas miracle.
I suppose that we have good reason for being so cautious in Cayman. We are essentially Covid-free at the moment. The only positive Covid tests are coming from travellers who are presently quarantined. We are basically living in a safe little bubble on our island. We freely meet with friends, attend events, eat at restaurants, go to the movies, etc. Masks are only required on buses and in medical facilities, but overall, there is definitely a sense of safety and freedom here right now. The fact that we are free, safe, and healthy does not evade me - I feel very grateful to be living in such an incredible place while the rest of the world appears to be struggling.
But as you can imagine, given our large population of expats, most people who reside in Cayman have family elsewhere. I know Teachers who have spouses and children in Jamaica, co-workers who have children in College in the US and elderly parents in the UK. We all really miss and desperately want to re-unite with our families. You can feel a sense of desperation when you speak with colleagues about October break, Christmas break, February break...Summer break??? When will we be able to see our families again? It's sad. We are all experiencing this sadness.
And on top of that ...we all want to shop.
You would think in today's age that a swift click on my keyboard would easily generate shiploads of goods from around the world. However, this is not presently the case. Most of us are utilizing freight forward shipping companies. You can send your purchases to the freight forward's address (usually in Miami), they will consolidate all your purchases and eventually ship them to Cayman. Once they reach Cayman, the purchases typically hit a massive roadblock at customs. Customs can choose to inspect each and every purchase in your order and you are required to attach detailed (very detailed) descriptions of each purchase. For example, if you have purchased a black dress you cannot just add "black dress - $40.89." Your description must look something like this:
"Kinda slutty 30% polyester 70% lycra black dress that I will probably only wear during one alcohol-fuelled girls night out where all my friends will drunkenly slurrr, 'OMG You looook sooooo hot mama!" - $40.89"
I wish I was joking.
Interesting fun fact...it is illegal to bring "adult toys" into Cayman. Illegal! So whether you are hoping to add some spice to a bachelorette party or wanting to add a new category of self care to your regime...don't even think about shipping these naughty goods onto our virginal land! haha.
I digress.. In addition to waiting months for an order to arrive, it often arrives in pieces (one day I received 3 bottles of Japanese Cherry blossom lotion in 3 separate boxes) or random purchases become lost (floating out to sea with Wilson???). When an order does arrive, there is an initial momentary spike in endorphins as you tear open your boxes in a frenzy. What did I order? What could it be? But much like a spoiled kid on Christmas, nothing you open ever meets your expectations.
"What? This dress looks like a bed sheet! Small? Does S stand for 'sheet'??"
"Evan! Why did you order 475 stickers?"
"Why the hell did I order a f#@$%ing shirt with a pineapple on it? I need work clothes not a stupid #@$%ing shirt with a pineapple on it!!"
When the dust has settled and the boxes lay on your floor in heap, you wipe the sweat from your brow and feel disappointed...disappointed in your hasty purchases, disappointed in your inability to predict what you would actually require in 3 months time, and disappointed with yourself for eagerly anticipating this shipment for 3 long months.
Cheers Friends - go socially distance with a family member today and embrace the satisfaction of caressing that garment on a sales rack. ;)
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