First dates, regardless of how well they go, are awkward as hell - especially when you are an already self-conscious floundering teenager. Is he going to pay for the movie? Is he going to try and hold my hand? What if my throat makes that weird noise during the super quiet scenes? What do I do if our fingers touch in the tub of popcorn? Should I eat the popcorn or pretend that I don't eat? And of the biggie...is he going to kiss me goodnight?
My first date with Evan, in my 1997 mind, went exceptionally well. He picked me up at my house and came to the door to retrieve me (some boys just honk - rude!) He took charge in line and paid before I even had the chance to offer. He ordered popcorn and insisted that I share it with him. As far as I knew, there were no strange noises or smells emitted from either of us. And... there was a really awesome, yet respectful, goodnight kiss at my house when he dropped me off.
The reality of our first date, however, was that it was far from perfect, but I didn't really realize until after the fact, that it indeed, was awkward as hell.
Firstly, despite the fact that it was -40 degrees Celsius that evening, Evan insisted on rolling (manually rolling) down the car window on the way to the theatre. Although I thought it was a bit odd, I assumed that he was just hot. The reality, which I discovered years later, was that Evan was trying to mask the smell of a first date jitters fart on the drive to the movie theatre. During the movie, unbeknownst to me, Evan apparently attempted to hold my hand at least 30 times. He later admitted that just as as he built up the courage to creep his hand within inches of mine, he quickly retreated in a state of panic. The build-up to our first kiss was also...well, a bit weird, really. Evan stood at the front door, staring blankly at me until I finally broke the silence with, "Well...I would like to kiss you." to which he responded, "Yes. Me too." Haha. Smooth. Overall, in retrospect...awkward as hell, but decent outcome.
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| How it all began.... |
The reason I am reminiscing about our awkward first date is that I had a very similar experience today...oddly enough, with our new vehicle.
Our vehicle, a gently used Land Rover (L.R), finally arrived last week off of the slowest boat that's ever sailed across the ocean from Singapore. Some rough seas delayed it in Jamaica, and a dead battery and poor communication with our broker delayed it in the port here in Cayman. Anyway, it was a character-building lesson in fortitude, but Ev and I finally received L.R on Saturday. We were immediately quite happy with her. Not only did she have very low mileage, but she appeared to be in decent shape. Our first observation was that all of the windows rolled down and there were no zip ties holding anything together #adultinghard. The combination of forest green exterior and light leather interior result in a look that I refer to as "rugged luxury." And...the icing on the cake? Multiple cup holders and 2 sun-roofs so that Ev can tan his head en route!
The issue with L.R. is that we don't quite "know" each other yet. We are still in the process of feeling each other out. I sense that there's a future for us - I don't want to jump the gun, but this feels "long-term" to me (teenage girl squeal!!!)
When I settled down on the soft cream leather seat this morning, I hastily inserted the key fob and pushed the "start/stop" button. To my dismay, nothing happened. Thinking that I had used too much force, I repeated the steps - gently - and L.R happily purred away. Obviously, L.R prefers a gentle touch. Got it.
I turned on Bob FM - my favorite 80's and 90's station, and began my trek to the office to the tune of "Semi-Charmed Kind of Life." So far, so good. As I indicated my left-hand turn, I was alarmed by the obnoxious thumping of both the front and rear windshield wipers. Unlike every other right-hand drive on island, L.R's windshield wiper lever was located on the right hand side of the steering wheel! It was apparent, already, that L.R was a bit of a quirky bird, who obviously sends mixed signals (See what I did there? Haha). I must have been a sight, driving through morning traffic, on a sunny 80 degree morning with my windshield wipers on full speed! I recovered and signaled my turn, quickly turning off the windshield wipers. I was back in business. Suddenly something caught my attention in the rearview mirror - the rear windshield wiper was still on. As I attempted to find the correct combination of lever clicks and turns, it was apparent that I was not operating L.R to her satisfaction, and the rear window wiper persisted for the entire 45 minute drive to work. Me and L.R were just not feeling it.
Once I arrived at work, I pushed the start/stop button and removed the key fob. Despite removing the key, L.R continued to run. Not only did L.R continue to run, but she began an obnoxious "beep...beep...beep" sound that typically indicates one is reversing. "What now?! Babe. Talk to me. What do you want? Stop? Go? What do you want me to do?" L.R had spun me into a whirlwind of confusion and frustration. "I don't know how to push your buttons yet!" Eventually, it occurred to me that the beeping was a result of another driver who was in the process of parking much too close to L.R (she needs her space, people!). I put the key fob back in the ignition and removed it, ever so gently, while quietly stroking her steering wheel and singing the Chainsmokers, "Baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover..." Like pure magic, L.R complied, and turned off. Complicated and high maintenance. Got it.
I've decided to persist with L.R. It was a bit of a rocky start, but I believe someone of her caliber is worth the extra effort. Given that she is from Singapore, I'm anticipating some cultural differences, but I believe that with time and patience, there is a wonderful future in store for us.
Cheers to awkward first dates ;)
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| caress gently and speak softly |
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| L.R likes long walks on the beach... |
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| ...and sunsets. But...do NOT try to hold her hand - she needs her space! |
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