New additions to the family

Hey friends,

It's been a month since the right knee was replaced. I've been waiting for things to improve so I could post something uplifting and positive, but the reality is that things aren't super awesome right now....but they are "pawsome" (more on that later!)

The whole surgery experience was much different than the other knee. I awoke from surgery feeling cocky, ready to take on the world. The physio came to see me as soon as they transported me from recovery to the ward, saw how exuberant I was, and suggested we try a walk. I tucked my bare bum back in my hospital gown and started cruising the hospital halls. The pain was minimal. I was putting weight on my new knee. I was going down in history as the best knee replacement patient ever. I was high as a fricken kite. I ate a banana and drifted off that night, feeling like a million bucks. Then unfortunately things took a turn. 

Come and see how awesome I am!!!

Wanna see a squat? Maybe a bunny hop?

I started puking and continued to retch for 48 F'N hours. Who knew that you could throw up a banana for 2 F'N days. It was rank, kids. RANK. (BTW: I'm off bananas now. Forever). 

My whole shtick with my non-empathetic surgeon is to showcase my incredible-ness so that I can get discharged faster, but with this horrible nausea, I found myself crying and whining to the whole Ortho team. It was humiliating. They all stood at my bedside staring at me as I dry heaved into a bowl and bawled, "Please make it stop." My surgeon corrected my leg position while I heaved,  "You can't sit like this. It's bad for your knee!" and then proceeded to put me on every IV anti-nauseant known to man. 

My medical team decided to reduce my pain meds in hopes of reducing the nausea. It worked. I was in quite a bit of pain, but preferred that to puking. I knew that I needed to catch up with my extension and flexion, so I requested the CPM - Continuous Pain Machine (I made that up, it's actually the continuous passive motion device, but my name is more suitable). You may recall that the CPM and I have history. I once rented one for $800 to torture me for a month. On my last admission, the CPM from 1985 wasn't working properly and kept stopping just as my knee was positioned at the highest level of flexion. This time, the Physio assured me that the CPM had new parts and was operating in tip top condition. It was...until the power outage.

I sat on the CPM with mom at my side. Every few minutes mom would ask if I was ready to increase the flexion (it increases the bend in your knee), and I was slowly working my way up to 70 degrees. Once I hit 70 degrees, the power suddenly went out in the whole hospital. I was stuck in flexion at 70 degrees! Although the generator was kicking on and off, the machine wasn't working yet and my bed controls wouldn't work to lay me down so I could escape this machine. I tried not to panic, wondering how the patients on life support were doing? (like sheesh). We could hear a patient in the room next to me yelling for help, so I just kinda sat still, hoping this would be over soon. Finally mom helped me awkwardly Houdini my way out of the the torture device. It turned out to be an island-wide power outage - what are the odds? 

I'm home now. It's been a month since my surgery. Mom left after a few weeks and I'm really missing her company. My knee is not happy. It's been a much different experience than my last knee. It's hard not to compare the timeline of the last, and I'm currently much further behind in my recovery. I'm struggling with pain control. I'm experiencing nerve pain, which can be excruciating at times, and causes numbness in my foot. Apparently it happens and can continue for a few days, or months, as my nerves reattach. My new knee, like Courtknee,  is also struggling with extension - it doesn't want to be straight! (In today's age, can't we just respect her wishes?) I attend Physio 3 times a week where he tortures me into extension. I cry a lot. I've called him very bad names, but I know from experience that the sooner I can get full extension, the better off I will be. I really do value my physio, despite all the torture/terrorist jokes. This pain now will lead to a functional, pain free knee in the future.  I know that. I recognize all of the effort going to in to help me. In Baba's words, "So be it." 

"torture hang" (I named it)

People often tell me, "You got this." I appreciate the pep talks and positive encouragement - I really do, but to be honest, at this moment in time, I don't got this. I am struggling. It's been too many consecutive days with high levels of pain. My pain receptors are overloaded. I've had 15 knee surgeries, some much worse than others, but unfortunately, this one is on my top 3 worst experiences list. I'm definitely going out with a bang, but it feels never-ending at the moment. 

I'm days away from shaving my head and smacking faces with an umbrella; therefore, I've obviously named this knee Britknee. She's not well. She's erratic. She's emotional. But...she works hard and has potential for greatness. Welcome to the family, Britknee. Please take your meds and simmer the F down. 

So that's my sad story. But...I also have a really pawesome story to share! We've officially adopted Stevie, the blind cat, and - plot twist - Dilbert, the runaway dog. 

You all knew we'd end up adopting Stevie, didn't you? We've had Stevie, the blind cat, since November. My good bud, Stacey and his girlfriend Charlene, have been raising Stevie since she was a kitten. She had a terrible infection in her eyes when she was found on the streets, and the vet decided to remove both of her eyes. Stacey "lent" Stevie to me in November for company when I was recovering from Courtknee's surgery. Stacey knew exactly what he was doing! Haha. She wasn't the cat I wanted. I wanted a cuddly cat who would curl up with me on the couch and purr away my sadness. Stevie didn't like to be touched. She was quite introverted, although always needed to be near me. Stevie is also very smart. She easily navigated around our house, bravely jumping on the couch, and feeling edges with her paws. It's incredible to watch her balance beam across the top of our couch and move around objects withe ease. In the end, I grew to love Stevie and she grew to love me. She's still quite introverted, but at night, when I'm laying in bed catastrophizing (as we do), she releases the loudest purr and kisses my face with her little nose. She's very sweet, and I admire her sassiness and confidence, despite her disability. 

Sweet little Stevie - a rare moment of cuddles

Now Dilbert was another story. Evan and I have been wanting another dog for quite some time. I knew that we needed to find a calm and gentle dog to co-exist with Stevie. The Humane Society suggested a dog who had recently been rescued off the streets, but was currently in a foster home. The foster mom reached out to me and asked if I wanted to "trial" Dilbert while she was on holidays for 2 weeks. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but oh man, the timing was rough. Dilbert came to us the night that I returned from the hospital. 

Poor Dilbert was terrified when Morgan, his foster mom, dropped him off. He wouldn't eat, drink, or accept treats. He sat at the window and cried all night. I knew a little bit about Dilbert's history. The Department of Agriculture had found him wandering the streets. Often these dogs are euthanized, but thankfully the Humane Society stepped in and took him immediately. Given Dilbert's condition, they theorized that he was around 3 years of age and had been someone's pet at some point, but likely dumped and abandoned.  Unfortunately this is a common practice on island. It was apparent that he had sustained some abuse, as he was very submissive, terrified of men and feet (he was likely kicked). Poor dude had a very rough start. 

The next day, Dilbert would still not engage. He cowered in the corner, obviously sad and scared. He barely moved so we didn't even consider that he might make a run for it...

My mom went to take out the garbage and suddenly Dilbert saw his window, sprinted out the door, and took off down the streets of West Bay - his old stomping grounds. 

Dilbert ran for 3 days. Like Forrest Gump, he just ran. And ran. And ran. 

My mom, Evan, Stacey, Charlene, and various other volunteers chased Dilbert for about 8 hours. There were occasions where someone would get within feet of the dog, but then he immediately sprinted away. No one could catch him!

We finally decided to leave him and put food, water, and his favorite toy on our patio, in hopes of luring him back. (By the way, his favorite toy is "sharky," a stuffed shark, which seemed like a good sign, given our love of shark week). 

It worked! That night I heard scratching on the patio door. It was Dilbert! As soon as he saw me, he took off running again. This dog did not want to be caught. 

By the second day, we had all had it with this dog. Dilbert became "Dickbert" and "Dildo." We contacted the Humane Society to get a trap in place. We posted his face on every online Cayman group, and received multiple messages a day, "I see him in the bushes by my house," and "He's right here by your car!" 

Finally, on day 3, one of his previous fosters agreed to bring her dog, one of Dilbert's buds, to the area where he was last seen. Within 15 minutes Dilbert ran out of the bushes and began playing with this dog. We had him!

I knew that Dilbert was not the dog for us, but we had agreed to look after him while Morgan was away, so I tried my best to speak softly and kindly to him, although frankly, I wanted to pack up this dog and take him back ASAP. 

Then something magical happened. Dilbert and I became buds. 

He began snuggling in with me on the couch, resting his little head on my lap. He followed me cautiously around the house, as I crutched from room to room. He gently approached Stevie, allowing her sniff and examine him. Although he initially peed himself with fear whenever Evan came near him, he eventually accepted his treats and began walking nicely on a leash next to him. Dilbert immediately became very attached to me, and would celebrate my return with a long excited howl and an intense tail wag that often smacked Stevie in the face! Dilbert won his way into our hearts with his gentle, sensitive demeanor. 

When Morgan returned from holiday and texted me about picking up Dilbert, I immediately called her and explained that we had decided to keep him. I think she was quite surprised, given our rough start!

The best part of the Stevie and Dilbert adoption is the connection that they appear to have with each other. Dilbert has become very concerned about Stevie's safety, and immediately runs to her side if he suspects she is upset. One night, Stevie fell off the bed and Dilbert howled to get our attention. When I turned on the light, Stevie was a bit disheveled and obviously embarrassed, while Dilbert sniffed and licked her, ensuring she was ok. They also awkwardly play together. Dilbert chases Sharky around the house and Stevie attempts to intercept Dilbert as he returns with his toy. Basically, Dilly is Stevie's seeing eye dog! I've named them our "paw patrol," as they appear to wander around looking for missions.  Their connection is so sweet,  and I love how happy their presence is making me. They make me laugh, which is exactly what I need right now. They are the best company during these long days. What would we do without pets?

Paw Patrol to the rescue!

Dilly with his favorite toy, "Sharky"

Poor mom was on the "chase Dilbert around West Bay" rescue team. 

There's my long update for y'all! I'm hoping that my next blog update will showcase all the cool things that I'm doing sans crutches with my paw patrol gang. 

Happy Easter!