Saturday, February 10, 2024

The Evolution of Romance

 Given that Valentine's Day is just around the corner, I've been spending time with my students discussing love, and ways to show someone that you love and care for them.

One little girl was very keen to explore the topic, "When a boy gives you flowers, that's romantic, right Ms, Kirstie?"

"Yes, I guess it can be," I responded. 

She nodded her head as she traced her heart picture, "But what does romantic mean?" she asked. 

Good question.

I wasn't really sure how to answer this one!

"Something is romantic if it makes the person you love feel excited or happy?" I shrugged, attempting to redirect the line of questioning. I really didn't know how to define "romance" to a 6 year old!

When I look back at the last 28 years with Ev, I can very plainly see that my definition of romance has vastly changed throughout the years!

I've been told that I possess incredible episodic memory. Sometimes a smell, song, or phrase will transport me back, even as far back as my toddler years, and I able to recall an event, or even the way that I felt in a particular moment in time. I assumed everyone had this ability, but I've learned that most of my friends can't remember that one time I angrily threw Kyla's "baby alive" down a flight of stairs in preschool (baby was NOT so alive after that one!) or the joy I felt when I opened the cool purple Northern Reflections T-shirt that Amy and Janna bought me for my birthday in grade 5. I remember it all!

One of my most favorite romantic memories stems from a magical night in March 1997. 

I was 17 years old, had been dating Evan Lindsay for approximately 1 month, and was absolutely besotted with him (I've always wanted to use the word "besotted"). Evan invited me to a Raider party, which basically consisted of the hockey team, and whomever could fit in the unlucky host's basement. The team had just won a big game, Evan was MVP, I was dating the MVP, about to graduate high school, and sitting on top of the world!

I arrived a little late to the party, donning my Guess jeans paired with my Mavi jean vest over a white crop top (the Shania Twain "Any Man of Mine" look), wreaking of Malibu Musk. I looked HOT. To my shock and amazement, my very introverted boyfriend was dancing on top of a table, and chugging red wine out of a paper bag (we were at the mercy of the 19 year olds who pulled booze for us). Granted, our relationship was new, but this wild "party Evan" persona was very new. 

Mark McGrath (Sugar Ray), "Fly" was blasting from a CD in a sweet JVC stereo, and as Evan saw me walk through the door, he locked eyes with me, pointed his shaky drunk finger in my direction, and lip sync'd the words, "Who knows how long I've loved you." 

OH. MY. GOD.

Did anyone else just see Evan Lindsay profess his undying love for me in front of all of his teammates at a Raider party?

Apparently not...but I sure did. 

I can still feel my heart completely fall out of my chest. This was my teenage girl fantasy come true. 

That night, I felt like I was dating the most romantic "man/boy" (we were 17!) in the world. Even as I pulled the car over later that night, watching Evan violently puke all the red wine into the street, I just knew this guy was a keeper. 

The romance just kept coming.

Every 3rd of the month (our first date was Feb 3) for ONE WHOLE YEAR, a box of 12 long stem roses were delivered to my house. These weren't Safeway roses, people! These were exquisite, perfect FLORIST roses. Evan often included a thoughtful note, or even an original poem, professing his very real 17 year old love for me. 

I hung each and every rose, upside down, in my room for that entire year until one day my Mom walked in and exclaimed, "This place looks like a rose graveyard. Maybe we can toss some of these dead roses?" 

I found out years later that Evan had been using his parents credit card (for emergencies only) to purchase my very pricey roses each month. "Well, it was kind of an emergency!" he explained...which to me, was also quite romantic. His parents may have thought differently! Ha. 






After 28 years together, the romance isn't quite so "flashy." And...thankfully Evan is no longer drunk dancing on tables or using his parents credit card to purchase flowers for me (AND...I'm no longer wearing Malibu Musk). Because that would be weird.

Romance now is more subtle...but also much more meaningful and thoughtful. 

Romance is preparing my tea for me early in the morning, so that it's the perfect temperature to sip as soon as I've woken up. 

Romance is filling up the vehicle with gas the night before I need it for a work road trip.

Romance is leaving little notes in unexpected places, wishing me a good day or encouraging me to keep going. 

Terrible handwriting, but lovely to discover under my pillow!

Romance is cooking and freezing meals for me when he's off island for work (he knows I'll probably eat popcorn and cookie dough like a 12 year old!)

Romance is holding my hand and giving it an extra squeeze in uncomfortable situations. 

Romance is not having to say a word, just sitting quietly together, thankful for your person's presence. 

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy passion, flowers, and impractical gifts on the occasion, but to me, it's the day-to-day ways in which he demonstrates his love for and pays close attention to my needs that also qualifies as romance now - a much different definition than my 17-year old self would have expressed.

Ev's been off island for the past 12 days for work, missing a massive "nor' wester" that produced 18-foot waves, destroying our landscaping and causing our pool to overflow with trees and debris. Needless to say, I'm really looking forward to his return this weekend. It will be nice to get back to our regularly scheduled programming. 

Cheers friends - Happy Valentine's Day!

This pool...not so romantic!




Sunday, January 7, 2024

California Love

 Happy New Year Friends!

I hope that your 2024 is off to a good start. 

I had a really incredible Christmas break - one of the best! Lani, my Mom's very good friend, summer it up as "the perfect Trifecta," and that, it was!

Cayman Airways now offers a direct flight to LA, which is super convenient. In less than 6 hours, you can be standing on the edge of the Hollywood sign! (Name the song!). I flew to LA on Dec 18 and met up with my dad and sister, Kayla, who flew down from Saskatoon. Oh man, we had a good time! We rented a really cute Airbnb in Fallbrook, California, which is a little town between San Diego and LA. It was close to one of my favorite seaside towns, Oceanside, as well as Temecula, the wine valley. I loved this house! We had a huge comfy couch, a cute back yard with fruit trees, hammocks, a fire pit, and a galvanized tub for cold plunges. We spent every morning drinking hot bevvies by the fire, and evenings watching "Travels with my Father" on our big comfy couch (so appropriate for our vacation! "DADDY!")

The first activity was the Temecula wine tour, which I had previously partook in with Ev last February. When we boarded our stretch black party bus with a seemingly shy couple and a mother and daughter duo, I whispered to Kayla, "Just wait until the 2nd or 3rd winery, everyone will come out of their shell." And, as predicted, I vividly recall looking up and watching dad, Kayla and the rest of our crew hanging onto the poles whilst dancing and belting out "Gloria" (dad's selection) at the top of their lungs! It was so fun. I asked dad if he enjoyed the wines on the wine tour and he responded, "It's really just a booze cruise." Haha. Yep, I suppose it was.

Temecula Valley

Well that escalated!

I loved hanging out with my Dad and sister. We had so many laughs. They are so much fun to be around! Kayla and I good-naturedly tease our dad, he takes it, and we all have a good laugh. We often lose dad on holidays, and eventually find him...typically making a new best friend....and this one wasn't any different. Eventually we found him a local pub, saddled up at the bar with an orchard farmer, "This is my new friend, Paul!" proclaimed dad. "Please don't take Les away, we have so much to talk about!" replied new bestie, Paul. They exchanged emails (it's that what you do in your 70's?) and vowed to meet up in Mexico.

Another key moment was driving through Laguna Beach. Kayla and I religiously watched the MTV show, "Laguna Beach" in the early 2000's, so we took great enjoyment in seeking out filming locations and singing the theme song repeatedly "Let the rain fall down...." Dad didn't even flinch. He just took it all in...over and over and over again! Secretly, I think he enjoyed it. We rented a 3-man bike in Oceanside and took turns pedaling down the coast, laughing as we dodged walkers and bikes, with zero elbow room. 

Oceanside

Temecula Town


Fallbrook





After 4 days with my Dad and Sister, I hopped on a little puddle jumper to my Mom and Lenny in their dessert oasis, Rio Bend. This is retirement life at it's finest, people. First order of the day is aquacise class in the 90 degree pool, proceeded by ample Today Show coffee time, followed by golf, ending with a happy hour that spans anywhere from 3-4 hours. Bedtime is anytime after 7pm and let me tell you, I live for this schedule! I had such a nice week with my mom. We were able to do lots of Christmasy things like bake goodies for all of the neighbours, and watch our favorite Christmas movies. The highlight was definitely the golf cart carol singing. Everyone in the community decorated their golf carts (picture lights, giant blow up santas, wreaths, bells - you name it, it was there! We then drove around in our carts, stopping along the way to sing Christmas carols! After completing 2 Christmas songs, we were often rewarded with a shot. Yep, a shot - there was Bailey's, fireball, butterscotch schnapps - bottoms up!  By the end of the caroling, golf carts were colliding, reindeer ears were sideways, and Christmas tunes were out of tune. It was a blast! 







We had a near Christmas miss when Mom's oven stopped working around 7pm on Christmas Eve. Poor Lenny pulled that thing out and attempted to fix it, stating, "Maybe something will be open tomorrow for parts?" haha, on Christmas? Can we quickly beg Santa for an oven element? Luckily, Mom's friend and neighbour suggested their Traeger grill, and although Mom was initially skeptical, it was one of the best turkeys I've ever had! A Christmas miracle, indeed (Traeger, sponsor me!)

I always enjoy spending time with my mom, but it's a huge bonus if it's not after one of my surgeries! We had such a nice relaxing time, just enjoying each other's company, and having lots of laughs with Lenny and their friends. 


Once Christmas was over, I hopped back on my private jet (Southern Airways tiny Cessna), and flew back to LA, where I was reunited with my Evan! Ev had spent a really nice (much colder) Christmas with his mom, Peggy,  in Red Deer, Canada. We immediately picked up our Minnie Winnie for our Pacific Coast RV adventure!

Our first stop was Malibu, where we enjoyed a beautiful ocean view from our campsite. We then proceeded down state route 1 to Pismo Beach. Pismo Beach is a classic, no frills California beach town. The sandy beach extends for miles and a long pier jets out into the sea. We camped at the Pismo Beach State campground, at the end of river. After exploring the pier and enjoying a cocktail in Pismo Beach, we headed back to our campsite, attempted to start a fire with the wettest wood ever, and eventually gave up, falling asleep to the sound of the river behind us. 

Malibu

Pismo Beach State Park


The next day we intended to take the Pacific Coast Highway up to Big Sur; however, every time we plugged in our destination, Google maps was rerouting us. We discovered that a storm hundreds of miles out in Pacific was creating massive waves. This, paired with the high tide, was causing these waves to unprecedentedly crash onto shore, damaging part of the highway. So, unfortunately, we were unable to enjoy the full Pacific Coast experience, we were diverted and aable to reach Big Sur via the 101. 

Ev and I did this drive in our early twenties, so I recall just how magnificent Big Sur is! So, I had expectations, and luckily, those expectations were met.

Big Sur is all about the drama. Once you enter the beautiful city of Carmel, you begin the trek on the narrow, windy roads that drop hundreds of feet into the crashing surf. Not one to ever worry (ha!) I began picturing the door to our Minnie Winnie spontaneously popping open, sending me flailing into the crashing surf. Man, I love relaxing vacations 😟 Due to the storm, Ev and I were able to witness huge Mavericks - 50 foot waves that crashed into the caverns and rocks that jutted out from the coast. It was mesmerizing! Big Sur is breathtaking, and not to be missed if you are considering a California road trip. 

Our campground in Big Sur was something out of Disney's Fern Gully. Surrounded by enormous Red Wood trees and a forest bottom teeming with ferns and bubbling brooks, we quickly started a fire (this one worked!!), prepared dinner and sipped our drinks, enjoying all the smells and sounds around us. I can still smell the smoky wood burning mixed with the earthy scent of the forest. It was magical. 

Big Sur

Pacific Coast Highway

Morro Bay

Big Sur

Big Sur

Although we had pre-booked the majority of our campsites for our trip, we failed to book our last night, as we weren't entirely sure where we would be. We were struggling to find a campground near Santa Barbara, when suddenly 1 spot opened up at a place called "Jalama Beach." On the map, it appeared to be somewhat close to our destination, and the description boasted an ocean view, so we decided to go for it. 

We reluctantly said goodby to Big Sur and continued our trek back down the coast. After a few hours of driving, we came across a sign for Jalama Beach. The turn took us through cattle fields, forests, and across small creeks. With not another vehicle in sight, it honestly felt like we were heading nowhere (or to a place where strangers harvest our organs - again with the worry). I kept second guessing the directions, wondering if we had strayed off course, but signs continued to promise it was just up ahead. 

Suddenly we turned a corner and were met with a spectacular view! There, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, was a beautiful secluded beach. Mouth agape, I couldn't believe that we had found such a treasure! 

Once we checked in, we parked our Winnie up on a cliff, overlooking this beautiful beach. Our neighbours immediately began to inform us that a huge rogue wave had hit the campground the day before, destroying the first 2 rows of campgrounds and even uplifting the playground! Apparently the campground was evacuated and then reopened on the day that we arrived. I guess that's how we managed to score such a great spot. 

This site was one for the books! A small store and restaurant sat just down the hill, serving, the "world famous Jalama Burger." This little ma and pa restaurant has been open for over 40 years. This place had an incredible history - it was such great find! I also discovered one of the best sauvignon blancs I've ever tasted, from the Brander Vineyard just down the road, and Ev and I proceeded to eat our delicious burgers and sip wine by our fire - gazing at one of our favorite California views thus far!

Overall, the RV trip was awesome. Although I do enjoy a 5-star resort (with a jetted tub, please),  I must say that the RV trip is a great way to explore a lot of the state. There is nothing better than falling asleep to the sounds of crackling fires and crashing waves, and then waking up to a beautiful view while sipping a hot drink. In addition, wifi was spotty, which forced us to get off our phones, and just really enjoy each other and the nature around us. I loved this trip, and would highly recommend it to others. 

Jalama Beach

Jalama Beach

Aside: Johnknee was OK. Like his namesake from Dirty Dancing, he's a bit unpredictable at the moment. He will happily dance on a log over a river, practice "The Lift", but abandon me in a huff because he's moody or whatever.  Anyway, there were moments of good and moments of "why won't my fricken knee work," but I'm hopeful that we're heading in the right trajectory, as we all know Dirty Dancing had a happy ending. ;) 

Ok, Friends, I apologize for the long post, but I needed to document one of my best holidays  - my "Trifecta" with my nearest and dearest. 

Happy New Year! I'm excited to make some positive changes this year. 




Saturday, December 2, 2023

Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner!

I sat patiently as the Ultrasound technician slid the wand purposefully around my swollen knee. 

I glanced at the monitor, seeing only black and white wisps across the screen.

"So, can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?" I inquired straight faced.

The Tech dropped the wand on the table, looked at me wide-eyed, and burst out laughing.

We both belly laughed for a solid minute and then she picked up the wand, moved it through the slippery gel over my knee cap and exclaimed, "It's definitely a boy!"

A boy! Well this a turn of events. This changes everything now, doesn't it?

About 8 weeks ago I had a little "incident" at work. I was walking one of my students back to class. This particular student has autism spectrum disorder and often acts impulsively. I held his hand and sang our transition song, "The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah" as we trudged slowly back to class. Suddenly as we neared the car park, my little friend turned abruptly to run towards the cars. Holding his hand, I was jerked sideways, felt a searing pain down my knee and fell on the ground. Ouch. Luckily the student was fine. I, however, was not. 

After a check-up with my surgeon and various tests (including that very "telling" ultrasound. Ha!), the surgeon diagnosed me with a bone contusion.

A bone contusion occurs when a bone sustains trauma and becomes bruised. My bone, apparently was bleeding and inflamed. 

Who knew?

Unlike a regular bruise, bone bruises can take months to heal. Yippee for me. 

Ugh. 

It's been quite painful, and I took a week on non-weight bearing measures. Oh the PTSD! I forgot how frustrating it is to transport my tea from the kitchen to the couch on 2 crutches, without putting weight on my leg. Every little thing becomes a major task. I have not idea how I managed non-weight bearing for 6 week stints! Brutal.

Anyway, here I am with a bruised bone, attempting to rest and heal this damn knee, (as much as one can while working and adulting full time), and realizing that I've misgendered my knee now for almost 9 months!

Obviously Britknee is angry because Britknee, in fact, is male.  

I screwed up. 

So, based on this turn of events, I will be officially renaming the right knee.

Can I present to you....drumroll please. drumroll (If you're a Christmas Vacation fan, that will mean something to you).....

Johnknee!




I specifically selected Johnknee, based on one of my favorite movie characters,  Johnny Castle from Dirty Dancing. 

Johnny Castle was charming and suave...yet cynical. Johnny was an underdog who proved himself through hard work.  I prefer that personality to my former namesake Britney. Did you read her memoir? My knee doesn't stand a chance as Britknee. 

Johnny Castle was loyal. He didn't turn his back on Baby when things got tough (well, he kinda kid for like 24 hours) But...he came back, pulled her out of that corner and time of her life'd her!

Johnny Castle obviously had amazing knees. That lift required serious quad strength and knee extension, not to mention confidence - three things that I'm currently lacking. 

Finally, at the end of the movie, with the help of Baby, Johnny realized that the world could, indeed, be a good place

I kneed this knee to realize that this world is fine. Everything is fine. We need to stop wallowing, do our effing job and move forward (literally and figuratively!)

So now that we've cleared that up, I'm assuming Johnknee will rise to the occasion and provide me with the support and endurance that I so desperately kneed. 

I'll be registering at "The BABY Shoppe" in George Town (hehe, now I can regularly throw down Dirty Dancing puns!)

Cheers!

Unreal flexion

can withstand high impact

squatting and lunging - not a problem




Saturday, November 11, 2023

Costa Rica

 Hey Friends!

Ev and I recently got back from a really great trip to Costa Rica. We had been to Tamarindo (north Pacific side of Costa Rica) about 17 years ago, would you believe, for our honeymoon?! At the time, I thought it was the most magical place in the world, but as we've aged and traveled more, I've often wondered if perhaps Costa Rica seemed incredible because we were young, on our honeymoon, and hadn't yet seen a lot of the world. So I was curious if I would still feel the same way 17 years later...and man, I sure did!

Evan spent a week in the Jaco area (Pacific coast) for about a week before I arrived, where he hosted an event for his gyms. Ev has been hosting regular events every 6 months or so where staff from his gyms and other fitness businesses that he coaches attend a 3-day workshop. It sounded like everyone had a great time - surfing, waterfall adventuring, and visiting a monkey sanctuary. My school break fell the week after, so I flew into San Jose, Ev picked me up in a rental car, and we made the 3.5 hour trek to La Fortuna. 

The roads that we traveled were in good shape. There weren't any major highways or overpasses, which can make trips faster, but we enjoyed the meandering drive through little villages and pastures. The scenery became more impressive as we gained elevation. La Fortuna is only 70 miles northwest of San Jose, but it took us almost 4 hours

La Fortuna is a quaint little town tucked in at the base of the Arenal Volcano. I chose a little boutique hotel with more of a jungle feel for the first half of our stay, about 10 minutes away from La Fortuna. Ti-fikara Lodge promised "peace, comfort, and harmony" amidst a rainforest setting, and I was like, "sign me up!" We were not disappointed. Ti-fikara was a beautiful place to begin our holiday. 

Our "rainforest room" was a little stand-alone bungalow with a really cool outdoor shower and up close and personal views of the jungle. A frog sanctuary exists on property, so you can hear and see a variety of these cute and colorful little frogs. Not to toot my own horn, but I became a bit of a frog expert, identifying the poisonous, yet aloof blue jean frog on a leaf one day. Have you ever heard that aging folks often take up a sudden interest in birding? Frogging, people! Frogging is the new birding for the aging population. haha. 




I was a bit bummed about visiting Costa Rica in semi-mobile state. When we had planned the trip in the summer, I assumed that I would be fully healed, traversing waterfalls and hiking mountains. But, you know, Britknee is a full-time biatch these days, so I was a bit nervous about finding excursions that didn't involve actually using my knee. But, surprisingly, there were quite a few options for exploring the La Fortuna area that accommodated the semi-mobile!

The first excursion that we participated in was zip lining. We zip-lined 17 years ago  when we visited Costa Rica, and I recall absolutely loving it. We found a company that boasted the highest zip line AND a tram that transported you to the top of the lines. Perfecto!

I was super excited about the experience until we reached the top (about 800 feet above sea level), and could not see a damn thing. We were literally at the top with our heads in the clouds.

I watched the first person zip away into the abyss and suddenly began freaking the eff out. 

I started emitting this weird laugh and saying strange, semi-inappropriate things to my fellow zip liners. Every time a new zipper would zip into the cloud abyss, I would giggle and say, "yay. good job. yay. good job." in this unrecognizable voice. Ev just kinda kept side-eyeing me and occasionally asking, "Are you ok?" Oh my god, I was a nervous wreck. I began examining the safety harness and questioning construction of the platforms. I don't recall even considering safety issues of the zip lines when I was in my 20s! Dude! I used to catch rides with random strangers, traverse down gravel roads to bush parties in the middle of nowhere and drink myself silly in subzero temperatures without a care in the world and now I'm concerned about a very popular "family" excursion? (Sorry for that, mom, by the way). 

I suddenly began to question my future. Is this how it happens? Am I nearing an age where I am too afraid to experience an adrenaline rush and prefer identifying frogs and watching exotic birds from my balcony? No, I was not going out like this. I may have the knees of an 80 year old after two knee replacements, but dammit, I'm a young and vibrant 40-something. I bit the bullet, assumed the knee tuck position, and flew through sky (screaming the entire way). 

I have to admit, the first 2 lines were absolutely terrifying. I flew through the clouds at 43 miles per hour, having no idea where I was or where I was going (is this a metaphor for my life right now? ha).

Once we reached the fourth line, we could finally see the tree tops and my lungs allowed me to fully inhale.  Although I didn't turn my head more than 10 degrees each way (for fear it would throw me off my line), I did manage to enjoy the incredible view of the jungle tops and Arenal Lake in the distance. It was amazing, and I felt really awesome when it was all done. 






Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm not really into food. I mean, I like food, and really enjoy Evan's cooking, but I'm not one to make reservations at popular restaurants or pre-plan meals. I just kinda eat whatever when I'm hungry.  That being said, I must admit that I enjoyed some of the most delicious bites that I have ever had during this vacation. The Ti-kifara hotel provided breakfast each morning, and, OH MY GOD, the breakfasts were incredible! Everything was so fresh! Fresh pineapple that tasted sweeter than any pineapple I've ever tasted, in addition to fresh papaya and mangos. Big chunks of avocado were inserted into every dish. I found myself waking up each morning and salivating in anticipation of those incredible breakfasts!




We spent the second half of our holiday at the Arenal Kioro Suites and Spa. I chose this resort because it is situated at the base of Arenal Volcano, and boasts one of the best views. Although Arenal Volcano is about 5000 feet tall, it is often covered in cloud, and difficult to see. One tour guide told us that only 20% of people who visit actually get a full view of the volcano. Given that we opted to visit the rainforest during rainy season, where shockingly, it rains every single day (who knew? ha), we weren't really able to see the volcano for the first few days of our holiday. Once we reached our room at Kioro; however, we had the most incredible view of the volcano! It was absolutely stunning. 

Ev poured me a glass of wine, turned on some vintage reggae (vintage now means 90's by the way), and settled in on my balcony to enjoy the view - steam was constantly emitted from the top of the volcano. Within minutes, I began googling, "When was the last eruption of Arenal volcano? How do you know when a volcano is erupting? How fast must you run to escape an eruption?" Obviously I'm so good at relaxing. So so good. 

As it turns out, the last big eruption of Arenal Volcano was in 1968. At that time, three neighboring villages were destroyed and 87 people were killed. The volcano continued to remain active, spewing rocks and lava until 2010. Since 2010 it has been dormant, although on a clear day, you can still view the steam rising from the top. 

Did this information ease my fears? Sorta. I did consider that maybe the volcano was due for another big one, but Ev began making me his famous rum punches with delicious fresh juices, and I quickly stopped caring, or at least was at peace with succumbing  to a large volcanic eruption, and simply the enjoyed the majestic volcano and the toucans flying gracefully from tree to tree. 

The resort was surrounded by beautiful natural hot springs, so we spent quite a few afternoons floating in the hot water, feeling the warm raindrops on our face, and listening to the sound of the waterfalls flowing around us. We often had the springs to ourselves! It was really awesome. When I was a kid, I used to lay in a hot bath with the shower on and pretend that I was in a waterfall. This was even better!






In addition to the zip lining, we did a safari float, which entailed floating down the Penas Blancas River in an inflatable raft. That was cool! We saw monkeys, turtles, caimans, and even a nesting mother crocodile ("um...should we be kinda afraid? anyone? anyone?"). I was really hoping to hold a sloth because they have the cutest little schmoopy faces in the world, but our guide explained that human interactions cause the blood pressure of sloths to rise to a dangerous degree. This made me feel terrible for even wanting to hold one, so I opted to creep on a lazing sloth dangling from a branch through a telescope. The last thing I wanted was to give a sloth anxiety! Geeeez. 

Our final excursion of our trip was a last-minute decision - we opted to do a ATV tour on the mountainside. I'm so glad that we did it! It was super fun. Ev and I took turns driving the quad. When asked if I had ever driven one, I assured the guide that I was very familiar with ATV's, as I had flipped our farm ATV several times. He suggested Ev do most of the driving. We cruised the mountainside, splashing through giant puddles, stopping to look at the magnificent volcano, and resting at the river's edge to clean the mud off our feet. It was so much fun. Ev and I both left that adventure with huge smiles plastered on our faces!

Overall, it was a great trip. I highly recommend the La Fortuna area. I think it would be an excellent holiday to bring kids as well. The people of Costa Rica are some of the kindest and warmest folk I've ever encountered, we felt safe the entire time, and the food was so delicious. We really enjoyed it. 

Also, I've said this before and I'll say it again. If you are single and looking to find your person, I will strongly recommend that you don't settle for just anyone. Choose a person with whom you really like spending time with. Evan and I do not have a perfect relationship by any means, but I truly enjoyed his company. So much of our last year has been spent dealing with hospitals and health concerns, and strategizing future plans (hard-core adulting) - it was just really nice to escape, have a super fun week  together, and enjoy the beautiful Costa Rican surroundings!

Cheers! 







Wednesday, October 4, 2023

conservatorship for Britknee!


 "It'll give you a new lease on life!"

"You'll never regret it!"

"Best decision I've ever made!"

Those, my friends, are various quotes from total knee replacement forums, reviews, and shiny orthopedic clinic pamphlets. I clung to those reviews when I was grabbling with the decision as to whether or not it it was time to get new knees. And those reviews, frankly, are pissing me off right now. 

It's been a full year now since Courtknee, the first knee, came into my life. I am very satisfied with the result. I have limited pain in that knee, I can kneel all the way into child's pose, I can bend it (past the point of prosthetic limitations, no big deal- still a high achiever!) , I can straighten it, and overall, it's a high functioning, overachieving knee. I want to break out the bubbly and cheers this solid addition to my body, but unfortunately, Courtknee's success is currently being overshadowed by her evil sister Britknee's failures.

We're heading into the 7th month now since Britknee came into my life...and can I just stop right here and ask, Why did y'all let me name my knee Britknee? Like, hello? I was heavily medicated and, like a mother who is disorientated post-childbirth, I decided to name my knee after one of the most dysfunctional celebrities in the world right now? C'mon! I digress...Britknee sucks. I don't know how else to put it. She still won't straighten to a functional position. Because I am unable to get her to full extension, all my muscles from my ankle to my neck are affected - they are shortening and tightening. Each week I spin the wheel of muscle pain roulette and see if I'm going to strain my back, hamstring, quad, glutes - or this week's special -  tear a ligament! I'm in constant pain. The pain awakens me at night, and it feels like I have to swing this giant dead appendage across my bed in order to roll over. I'm sporting an ugly limp, as I drag this unstable, disorderly knee behind me everywhere I go. Britknee is legit toxic (currently dancing with knives???),  and I want a refund. 

Why? Why? Why?

The surgeon who performed my surgery encouraged me to be patient. When I told him I was very disappointed with the outcome, he nodded and replied, "So am I. But...we must wait a full year to see if it settles. So...see you back here in March! Keep pushing and stop limping." 

Super.

I went for a second opinion and the Orthopedic Surgeon recommended that all the hard-core joint mobilization therapy to straighten Britknee be stopped immediately. He explained that there is a window in which pushing and forcing the knee may aide with extension, but my window has passed. He hypothesized that all the forceful pushing is inflaming the scar tissue in my knee, preventing extension from happening naturally. If you let scar tissue mature, it becomes more malleable, and may eventually loosen, allowing extension to occur on its own. He suggested drastically reducing my daily step count and any high impact, but continuing to strengthen with physiotherapy (it's my 18 month anniversary of physio!), light weights, and cycling. He recommended giving it a solid 3 months. 

A second explanation was provided regarding a plastic piece in my prosthesis. There is a possibility that the piece is too large for my joint, preventing full extension. A smaller piece could be swapped out, which sounds easy peasy, but in actuality is another big surgery. I gathered that this would be a last resort kind of decision. I'm not really into this. I'm more of a "15 and done" kinda gal. 

I appreciated his explanation. It made sense to me. He also seemed to "get" me immediately, as he gently explained, "I can see that you are a person who will push yourself past your limit. You've done everything you can. You've gone above and beyond. But you need to rest a bit and just allow it to heal. This is not your fault."

So, you know...I listened and shed a few tears. Maybe I was just looking for some validation. I have been working so hard. In my mind, I had been the perfect patient. Can I just get an award or something???

So be it. (If you know, you know ;)

I'm trying to be more relaxed and restful in my approach; however, real life does not necessarily promote this. This strategy was fine in the summer when I had absolute control over my daily routine, and could balance rest with activity. But I am currently back at work full time in 4 different schools with students who have special education needs. It's a challenge to control your movement in the unpredictable school environment.  When my impulsive 5-year old student with severe Autism suddenly breaks free to chase chickens near the busy parking lot, I am unable to gently stop, apply light pressure equally to both joints while maintaining proper posture and announce, "My surgeon recommends no high impact."  

I am tired. I am in pain. I feel defeated. For some reason this 7 month thing is really getting to me, mentally. Given the fact that I was essentially pain-free at the 4-month mark with Courtknee, my expectations were set pretty high. There are days when I feel pretty hopeless about my situation. I was told to avoid knee replacements for as long as possible, and I did this by enduring surgery after surgery for 12 years. When I finally came to terms with the fact that it was time to replace my disease-riddled knees, my gut told me that I would regret it. And, currently, I do. I regret it. Maybe I should have left the right knee alone for a few years, or tried one more cartilage transplant. Was it that bad? Regrets are the WORST, and wake me up at 4am (why can't you wake up at 4am thinking about puppies and kittens?) 

Can you hear my tiny violin in the background playing a sorrowful sombre tune?

I hope that in a few months time, I will look back on this post and laugh at my dramatics, realizing that I just needed more time for healing to occur. My rational brain tells me that 7 months isn't really that long, right? (But my God, 13 years is!!!) My second-opinion surgeon was confident that I'd be feeling much better by Christmas. And, I suppose I should be thankful that one of the knees is a success story. But, honestly, I'm in the thick of things right now, not feeling so thankful at the moment, and I'm sick of hearing about so-and-so's grandma who resumed her role as captain of the bowling team a mere 3 months after her knee replacement. I'm tired of being Chumbawamba - I get knocked down, but I get up again. But like how many times can we repeat that chorus? I really just feel like staying down...for a while, anyway.

Even in the depths of despair I can throw out a bum pun.

I needed a good venting session. Writing this down makes me feel better. Thanks for listening. 





Saturday, August 26, 2023

Those were the days, my friend

 Hey friends,

I can't believe that our summer vacation has come and gone. Sometimes I feel like I'm standing on the landing at London Underground, and time is shooting past me like the trains whooshing by. There were so many moments this summer that I willed time to hold still for just a little longer. I'm not sure if it's a result of aging, or maybe I've developed a more fatalistic attitude, but I know that next summer, something will have changed. Someone may be gone. Someone won't be well. I know that positive change occurs as well - new babies, new relationships. Regardless, I felt myself holding tight to moments that brought me great joy. Someone described these moments as "glimmers" - like the opposite of a "trigger." I'm personally triggered by the overuse and misuse of the word trigger, so I'm overjoyed to refer to words/experiences that spark joy and peace as a "glimmer." These moments calm your nervous system, and make a positive impact on our mental health. 

Once we arrived at our house on Candle Lake, I released a great sigh of relief, and just thoroughly enjoyed my time, my surroundings, and the awesome people around me. 

I know you're all wondering how our emotionally traumatized dog and blind cat made out on our travels. They did very well! Dilbert, the dog, maintained a drug-induced sleep for most of the trip, took a big dump in the middle of Toronto Pearson airport, and generally quietly traveled at our side. Stevie, the blind cat, let out a massive scream on each take-off and landing, but settled as soon as we put our hand in her carry-on to soothe her. She was a champ!

Anyone wondering how I managed on our travels? 

Not well.

I was a fricken mess. I think the stress of traveling with these two special needs pets for the first time accumulated over the weeks leading up to our big travel day, and I just finally broke down - conveniently at the airport, as we prepared for security. 

Suddenly, my eyes welled up with tears, and despite Evan's best effort to blow those tears away  (his #1 strategy to prevent crying),  I began uncontrollably sobbing in the security line. (You guys know I'm not a crier!)

Evan looked at me, "Oh wow. What's going on?"

"I don't know. I'm so worried. I'm just so worried."

Ev provided a little pep talk, I gathered myself,  and we carried through security with no issues. 

I cried again on the plane when an overhead bin fell off the tracks, deplaning was suggested, and the pilot secured it with duct tape, saving the day! (Thank goodness, can I get some wine please?)  Other than my mini mental break-down (what the hell???), things went well!

The summer was exactly what I needed. We didn't do or see anything new or spectacular, but I just relished my time at our house at Candle, surrounded by so much love and support. I loved introducing our new pets to friends and family, and seeing them thrive in their new environment. Dilbert surprised us all and did not run away. He enjoyed sitting outside on the deck in the mornings, taking daily walks though the forest, and even fell in love with Darren and Allicia's dog, Coco! Stevie was amused chasing grasshoppers in the yard, and participated in Bocce ball games with the gang by following the thumping of the bocce balls impacting the ground - she's so smart!

These are a just a few "glimmers" that I experienced this summer: 

  • Taking my first breath of fresh Candle Lake air (I wish that I could bottle that spruce/lake scent)

  • Paddleboard workouts in the morning with Kayla. The lake was so quiet and still, and the only sound was the distinct sparrow tune (and Kayla and I grunting while attempting to stay on our boards).


  • Singing "Those were the days" with all my Tycholiz family at Baba and Gido's farm for our big celebration, "Farmfest '23".  I remember looking around at all my aunts, uncles, cousins, and cousins' children and thinking how happy this would make Baba. It was pure magic.


  • Pulling up to the boat parties and seeing all my favorite people jumping up and waving us in


  • Falling head over heels for Joey on the "The Bachelorette" during our regular Monday viewings with my sister and cousin. We had so many laughs on those Monday evenings.


  • Saskatchewan "pop-ins," where family and friends just randomly pop by for a visit. I love surprise visitors, and was super excited when I arrived at the door to see my cousin and his family on bikes. 


  • Enjoying coffee on the deck with my mom and her siblings one beautiful summer morning. Everyone looked so well and happy. 


  • Participating in Dad's "Meath Park tour." Kayla, dad and I hit the road on the side-by-side, sipped a beer, and got the full tour of Meath Park (population 150), according to Dad's memories ("A really nice family lived in this house. They had 4 really attractive girls. I remember giving one a Valentine in grade 2"). It was an incredibly comprehensive tour. Haha!


  • Boat rides back from the boat parties. That's when Kayla and I cranked our little stereo, and Ev drove extra slow so we could turn up a dance party and pretend we were in a boy band (and eat ketchup chips). I Love dancing and singing with my sister!
  • Lunches with mom and friends. Our "ladies who lunch" group included Joanne, Lani, and Aunty Donna. It was so nice catching up with some of my favorite ladies.


  • Our cousin day at Shell Lake. Kayla and I spent a day with our super fun cousins, Courtney and Rochelle, as well as our awesome aunts and uncles. My face hurt from laughing so hard, especially when we sipped fireball whilst trying to stop our peddle boat from consecutively turning circles. I miss those girls!


  • Shark week Celebrations. These are always a good time. We consumed our 12 bottles of bubbly and celebrated every shark on the planet! The shark cake was perfection, and the lawn games (whilst donning full shark gear) were super fun. 


  • Our anniversary: I pulled my veil out of storage for the 18th consecutive year (it now reeks of tequila, fireball, and bad choices ;) ). Our favorite people arrived for brunch rum punches, and we celebrated on our deck. I can't believe it's been 18 years - I still vividly remember that giddy feeling I had while repeating my vows to Evan. It was such an incredible day. 


  • Special day visits with my dear friend, Lisa, who drove 2.5 hours to see me, and my "Janna day," when my super bud since kindergarten comes to my house for 9 hours of "coffee."
  • Watching the Northern Lights dance in the sky, as I lay on my dock at 11:30 at night. Mesmerizing!


  • Surfing behind Darren and Allicia's boat for the first time since my knee replacements. I took it very easy, but it felt really good. I loved having Allicia, Darren, and Harper cheering me on, and I'm thankful that I am slowly returning to a more active lifestyle. 


  • Sitting quietly by the fire with Ev, and decompressing after a full day of friends
  • Reuniting our OG high school group in Saskatoon, and participating in Carly's undying love for Michael Bolton ("We can work it out!"🎵)


  • Drinking my Timmies tea in the hot tub, and watching the family of geese float by on the lake. 
  • Moments of just "being" with people. My mom, sister, and friends would often stop in and we would just watch TV or sit on the deck and chat. It was easy and comfortable. I think this is what I miss most. 


  • Seeing Dilbert and Stevie shine in their new environment!


  • Laughing so hard that I cried...but in a good way, not in an airport security line kinda way. 


That's just a few, and there are so many more. Although I was still in pain, I felt so much joy and contentedness. After falling off the rails a bit this year after my surgeries, I finally felt like my old self again - happy and fun. That's exactly how one should feel after a holiday! I'm trying to hold onto that feeling and remain revived and optimistic as I enter my 9th school year in Cayman, and get back to addressing  this uncooperative Britknee. 

Cheers friends!