I've never been a huge fan of the vision board.
The vision board always felt a little "woowoo" to me. Not fully understanding what it was, I pictured people pasting dollar signs and photos of Italian landscapes on a board and then sitting back, awaiting the moment when money would magically appear for an Italian vacation. I viewed it as a substitute for action.
The other reason that I wasn't a vision board fan is that thinking about the future scares me. No one knows what the future holds, but my experience with this degenerative cartilage condition has provided me with enough information to know that my health will always be an issue. I joke that these are "future Kirstie" problems, but to be honest, in my darkest moments, my "vision" has consisted of more surgeries, hospital stays and a wheelchair.
Well, my ideas about vision boards changed dramatically this spring, when a dear friend, Emily, ran a vision board session for a group of us at a birthday event.
Emily began the session with a guided meditation. I'm not sure if it was the soothing sound of her voice, the words she was using, the temperature of the room, or simply my state of mind that day, but as she encouraged us to visualize things, actions, people, etc that bring us joy, I felt inspired.
While many of the girls chatted and visited while constructing their boards, I sat quietly in a corner and cut, ripped, and glued for a full hour without distraction.
I kept seeing the word "connections."
I envisioned myself connecting with clients and found photos of people assisting others with communication.
I envisioned myself connecting with Evan and collected pictures of scenes that represent that to me such as beach barbeque sunsets and scuba diving dates.
I envisioned myself connecting with family and friends, and selected words such as "real smiles," "laughing until it hurts," and "be present."
In addition to connecting with others, I envisioned treating my body with kindness, regardless of its status. I have a tendency to beat myself up when things aren't working properly, and I know this isn't healthy. I added the words, "Learn to love your body again."
So, I went into this summer with a goal of connection and self-compassion in mind, and I must say, it worked!
The psychology behind the vision board is that by visualizing our goals consistently, a part of your brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) becomes activated. The RAS acts to prioritize information that reaches your brain, so your RAS becomes attuned to opportunities that align with your goal.
Knowing that I really wanted to connect with others over the summer, I did my best to accept any invitations that came my way, regardless of the weather, the drive, etc. In addition, I made the decision to celebrate our 20th anniversary by throwing a party for family and friends. I also focused on being as present as possible in daily events, but also during interactions.
Overall, it was a really great summer at Candle Lake!
Firstly, the cortisone injection did its job, and I was gifted with 2 months of minimal hip pain! This allowed me to do all the fun summer activities - I rode my bike almost every day, took Dilbert for long woodsy walks, wakesurfed with my boat gang, and participated in my favorite activity - stand up paddling down Fisher's Creek on calm mornings. This was total bliss!
I feel like I spent time with most of my favorite people (a few were missing this summer due to busy schedules). I DJ'd for my rad Dad's sunset boat floats. I silly laughed with Kayla while we created a seltzer testing/crop checking expedition for two. I reminisced about the good ol' days with my mom and Janna, and then mom and Lani, and then mom, Kit, and Kayla over prosecco (see a pattern? hehe) I floated with friends on the lake between cold spells and smoky skies. I reconnected with my cousins at Shell Lake for an incredible day of games, songs, and headstands. I took a few trips to the city to see my sister's new house, attend some concerts (Sing it: "I don't want no scrubs"), ride some rides (Allicia made me!), and reunite with my high school girls for an epic night of belly laughs, dancing, and some tears. (That's just a snapshot!)
Being with my people makes me feel so "me." Relationships that allow you to reveal your true vulnerable self through all aspects of life really are the definition of true connection, don't you think? I feel so lucky to have these relationships both on island and with my "old" gang at Candle Lake. Cheers to that!
I always envisioned us throwing a 25th anniversary party at the lake; however, as our 20th neared, I began wondering, why were we waiting?
Our wedding day was one of the best days of my life. Some of the memories are a bit fuzzy (I was overserved, Def Leopard was involved), but I do have a vivid memory that I frequently retrieve when I'm feeling down. I remember looking out at our guests - all the people who came from far and wide - and feeling so loved and supported. Despite the fact that my parents divorced when I was 12, our families came together, enjoyed each other and celebrated us by partying hard! I longed to feel this sense of connection again, so I threw out the traditional 25th anniversary celebration, and opted for the less popular 20th anniversary PAAAARTY!
I spent a lot of time thinking about the people who would be attending and considered aspects of the party that would bring people joy. I hung old photographs around the hall, ensuring that every person invited was depicted on the wall in a memory. I knew my Aunty Myrna would love this, and she did! I created a music list, thinking of all the guests who used to party in my parents' basement in the 80's (Those were SOME parties!) I ensured that "Gloria," "Fishing in the Dark," and "Living on a Prayer" were cued later in the evening when the alcohol was sure to provide some dancing courage. Speaking of alcohol, I carefully mapped out all guests drink preference and amount, providing an open bar (I grossly underestimated the amount of Sleemans my buds would drink - sorry! Pigs! just jokes). I created a photo booth corner with props, knowing how much my buds LOVE to wear an Evan Lindsay jersey, and I created a few games with prizes for my competitive crew. I even paid homage to our official animal of summer, the shark, by commissioning my cousin, Norah, to bake us jawsome cookies. It took time and effort, but totally worth it! Looking back, I got a lot of enjoyment out of sorting through photos, organizing music (while envisioning how guests would react to "their" song), collecting photo props for the booth, and searching party stores for supplies with my mom - the prep work! But the night of the party, when I announced that our hired designated driver was doing her last round of drop-offs and noticed that no one was budging from the dance floor/photo booth/bar, I knew that it was a success. No one wanted the night to end, and that brought me so much joy! (Shout out to Linds and Brad, our incredible clean-up crew who showed up the day after when everyone felt a little worse for wear).
Now the party was totally my idea, but Evan, doing what he does best, gave me full reign to fulfill my vision. Behind the scenes he set up our photo sharing platform, moved hall furniture for 2 hours until I was satisfied with our setup, and fulfilled his role as best supporting husband, ensuring that everyone was taken care of at our party. After 20 years of marriage, we know and accept our roles! Ev will never be our social activity director, and I will never be the logistics/financial planner of the family. Ha!
As our Canadian summer came to an end, although I felt sad that it was over (I always do), I felt like I had fulfilled my goal of connecting. Thanks to everyone who made it happen! Love to our Candle Lake crew! Shout out to cortisone - 'roids get a bad rep, but they can pull through in a pinch.
