Sunday, December 21, 2014

Look out Tim Horton's, Kirstie is on her way!

I'm really enjoying the Christmas festivities around the island. The Caymanians take this holiday very seriously, and by seriously, I mean, let's light this island up, people!

The centre of every roundabout on the "main drag" is sponsored by a company here on the island. That company is responsible for decorating the crap out of that roundabout. Our bank, Butterfields, for example, created a breathtaking display of lights on their roundabout - there's something magical about a dozen blinking palm trees! However, not to be outdone, Cayman National, one of it's rival banks, went all out with "dripping" icicles and a light display illustrating the police catching a burglar? (don't ask). Anyways, after seeing Cayman National's light display, Ev cheekily commented, "Well that bank is obviously doing better than ours. Time to switch banks?" In addition to the roundabouts, people decorate their cars here. For real. Like with antlers and rudolph noses. Who doesn't want to get flipped off in traffic by the dude driving the reindeer Beemer?

Cuz why wouldn't you?
a Christmas round-about 

There are also a few million dollar mansions, for which I can tell, the owners decide to turn into a Christmas attraction. They don't charge admission, they don't even ask for a donation, these people just open up their hundred square foot yards to the island, provide treats and drinks, and welcome the public to wander around, enjoying their  fabulous Christmas light display. Very generous - and an excellent activity for families. I was more enthralled with peering in the windows of these houses. What are these very wealthy people doing while we wander around their yard? For the record, one guy was watching Law and Order as I snooped around his "Christmas pool" - see, they are just like us!  For anyone who frequented Rick's Lounge, Candle Lake in the 90's, it totally reminded me of that window where you could drink a beer and watch Rick's mom (the lovely Kay), sip her wine and watch a movie in her silky robe. Haha!

Dundee is dressed and ready for his twinkle tour

"Where's the lights?"

Wandering through someone's yard

Yes, we are in the nativity scene - seems sacreligious, but everyone was doin' it

Working in the schools here at Christmas is nuts, people! NUTS! I've previously worked in the schools back in Canada and have since forgotten just how excited these kiddos (and teachers!) are as their 2 week vacation approaches. Basically, it began December 1, "Hey Ms. Teacher, I'm here to take Jeshaun to speech therapy." "Sorry, Jeshaun is at the 3 week before Christmas special Santa snack time today!" I've come to the conclusion that any attempt to provide speech therapy between December 1 and December 19 is a complete write-off. I'm not complaining - I did enjoy some fabulous Christmas concert rehearsals (Teachers, I have a complete new respect for what you do. EEEKKKS!) Overall, despite the lack of snow and the fact that our Santa wears a Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops, you would be hard- pressed NOT to feel the Christmas spirit on Grand Cayman.

Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

That being said, I am pretty damn excited to get off of this island for a week and have a proper White Christmas! Ev and I fly out on Christmas Eve and will arrive in Calgary at midnight, just in time for Santa. We're excited to spend  Christmas with Ev's family this year, and were happy to find a flight home that didn't cost us a shmillion dollars. I'm a little concerned; however, as the weather network is predicting a large storm for Toronto on Christmas Eve (site of our connecting flight). They've actually pre-named this storm #SantaBomb. Yes, it has it's own hashtag, so obviously it's legit. Shit. I really hope they are totally wrong about #santabomb. I've decided to channel my mother and start worrying about this storm now, as worrying about it will surely make it go away (right, mom? haha).

There are a few very important things that I will definitely be taking advantage of in Canada - things that I've been yearning for over the last 5 months:

1) Tim Horton's - watch out Timmies! I'm comin' for at least a dozen extra large steeped teas double double. Oh, steeped tea laced with crack cocaine, how I've missed you!

2) Starbucks - Sorry, Starbucks, you came a close second to Timmies; however, I will happily grip your sweet little cardboard sleeve and enjoy your festive cup as I sip a London Fog. Mmmmmm.

3) Scarves - I will wear the hell out of my scarves. I might even wear 2 at a time. Ascot wrap? Double knot and tie? Oh, I will envelop myself in scarves any which way I desire. Oh scarf collection, how my bare little neck has missed you!

4) Target/Winners/Walmart/any large and busy store - Is that a "sale" sign? There are clothing items that have been marked down? You don't say! I have been desperately missing shopping. Can you believe that I have not properly shopped since the beginning of August? My TD debit card is cold. Cold, people! Bring on a deal!

5) Japanese mandarin oranges - apparently the cargo ship did not stop in Japan. No mandarin oranges here. Just you wait, I shall lovingly unwrap that green noisy paper and carefully peel that mandarin orange (try to do it in just 1 peel!!) I will pop that juicy little orange wedge in my mouth and sigh with pleasure.

So if you spot an oddly tanned blonde with terrible roots (hair colour is uber expensive here!), donning 3-4 scarves, wandering around Target, appearing completely overstimulated, double fisting Timmies/Starbucks, and eating an orange - it's me!

Merry Christmas my friends!

This is what Ev and I do on weekends, obviously.

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