Every little thing is gonna be alright

 

Hey Friends,

I've had a really eventful April! 

Have you ever been in a bad funk where you felt like things just would never get better? I felt that in March. A lot of that was a result of weaning off of medication and struggling to accept that my knee is what it is -  and throw in the uncertainty of leaving a job after 10 years.  I truly felt hopelessness and despair for multiple weeks.  It's interesting how that voice inside your head tells you that things will never get better - and you believe it. I'm glad that I trudged through and made it out the other side. April took a complete 180 turn, and I'm feeling so much better about life, in general...and about my future. I'm documenting this because I hope that if I ever feel that despair again, this post will serve to remind me (and anyone else out there that feels it) that hopelessness will pass. There will be better days. 

I completed my last day of work with the Department of Education before Easter break. My "farewell tour" was so satisfying. My colleagues made me feel so incredibly special, loved, and appreciated. Ten years is a long time in Cayman - probably equivalent to our 25 in Canada, given that the island is so transient. We counted 6 colleagues who had outlasted me in our department (sounds like "Survivor" - kinda is). There were times during my goodbyes that I questioned whether or not I was making the right decision. But when my last day came and went, I knew the decision was made and was able to walk away feeling OK-ish about it, which was a bit surprising. I expected to feel elated. I think it will take time. 

A surprise from East End Primary!

My incredible colleagues from Student Services

Once I had a chance to catch my breath, Ev and I did a little island hopping for Easter break. Although, I wouldn't call it a "hop," but more of a "leap" to jump all the way over the Barbados and then St. Lucia. 

I know many of you are wondering why we would vacation on a Caribbean island when we live on a Caribbean island, but hear me out. As far as Caribbean islands go, I would describe Cayman as being more "Americanized" than other islands. I love the comfort of living on an island that has solid roadways, banking system (I can use my credit card everywhere), and modern conveniences like a movie theatre and large supermarkets. However, I was longing for a little getaway with a real "island feel." I wanted to buy local rum from a beach hut and adventure down shitty back roads to see views I had never seen before. 

Barbados and St. Lucia definitely fulfilled this need!

Barbados is the Eastern most island in the Caribbean, bordering the Atlantic Ocean. It's a 3.5 hour flight from Cayman, and we were able to skip the layover in Miami (Worst. Airport. Ever), and get a direct flight. Barbados is 2.5 times bigger than Cayman and more varied geographically and topographically. We opted to begin our stay near the St. Lawrence Gap, which is a bustling tourist area on the west side of the island. We finished our stay in Barbados at a beautiful resort on the southeastern coast of Barbados. The beaches are beautiful, and the water is crystal clear, but to be honest, my favorite part of our Barbados adventure was renting a car and driving to the Atlantic side of the island. The east coast of Barbados is more rugged, with dramatic rock formations and unspoiled beaches and bath pools. Although there were a few times we found ourselves on "roads" that may or may not have been traversable,  we found the locals to be very friendly, and never felt unsafe or at risk. 

Interesting fact: Barbados is one of two islands in the Caribbean that have monkeys! They are an invasive species (probably stowed away in a cargo ship at some point), and are destroying the agriculture in Barbados! Farmers are no longer able to grow fruit, as the monkeys are eating everything! Apparently the monkey population has expanded to around 60,000! We saw a few on our travels. They looked sneaky and shifty-eyed. 

Bathsheba, Barbados

such a tourist move. 

We then hopped on a puddle-jumper to St. Lucia. It was a short 30-minute flight from Barbados. We stayed in an airbnb in an area called Marigot Bay. I loved the location! Our room had an expansive balcony nestled on the side of a lush tree-filled hills, overlooking the quaint little bay. We spent many hours drinking wine and watching catamarans float in and out of the bay. 

St. Lucia was more "wild" than Barbados. Although there are multiple luxurious resorts, the island felt less developed, lined with small fishing villages and rum shacks dotting the coastline.  We opted to rent a car again and adventure on our own. The roads were windy and narrow. We dodged pot holes while winding up, down, and around dramatic hillsides. We found the locals to be more direct, following us and attempting to sell us their wares. It was blatantly obvious that St. Lucia is a much poorer country, and the locals are hustling to make cash off of tourists. I did get myself into a bit of trouble one evening. I was pleasantly buzzed on rum punches, watching the sun set over Marigot Bay and two local mean approached me, asking if I wanted to "have fun." "Ya! I love to have fun!" I responded happily. Ev returned and informed me that they were trying to sell me drugs. Oops. Shall I tell them I only take prescription medication from respected physicians? Ha!

My favorite site in St. Lucia was the majestic pitons that rise from the ocean. I managed to partake in a hike (go knees!) to gaze a breathtaking view of the pitons, followed the next day by a beautiful water view from our water taxi. We splashed in beautiful waterfalls and chilled on dark volcanic beaches. The scenery was breathtaking. So was the rum. I drank a lot of rum. A LOT. It was glorious. They even had a "rum taxi" that scooted around to beaches creating tasty rum cocktails for beach-goers. What a concept! The rum definitely helped when my knees protested post hike. 

The view from our balcony in Marigot Bay

Hike to view the pitons

Pitons from the water

Can you see the ridiculous photoshoot behind me? Girl missed an epic sunset. 

The holiday felt like it was customized to my needs and wants in that exact moment. I spent a week mesmerized by beautiful views, lightly buzzed in a rum punch haze... with my Evan. Awesomeness.

I returned ready to start new and immediately announced my new venture!

I have joined Achieve Cayman, a family-centered therapy service, which consists of two fabulous women, Trisha,  a Speech-Language Pathologist, and Teena, a Speech-Language Pathologist/Counseling Psychologist,  with whom I have worked and immensely respect. This is so exciting! I'm going to continue providing Speech Therapy to children, but hope to expand my services to include the adult population. As many of you know, I worked with the adult population in Saskatchewan and absolutely loved it. I can't wait to dive back into strokes, neurological disorders, dysphagia (swallowing), and even corporate speech pathology! It feels like I'm beginning a whole new phase of my life, after drowning in a challenging work environment and enduring surgery after surgery for so many years. I finally came up for air, took a look around, and felt safe enough to make some changes. 

I decided to top this all off with an epic birthday celebration. I've spent the last 3 birthdays post-op, feeling rough, and unable to celebrate in the manner that I would have liked. So I decided to go for it this, my 45th year, and booked a party bus to transport me and my buds on a pub crawl. 

My OG island bestie, Kat, flew down from Miami to celebrate. Having her here meant the world to me. I just relished being in her presence and was instantly whisked back in time to 10 years ago when everything felt so fun, new and carefree. This party bus was comical. It fit 25 people - we were a party of 12, so we basically had a giant bus as a dance floor.  I remember "Getting Low" with Lil Jon, belting out "Sweet Caroline" with the band at Peppers, and dancing to Miley Cyrus at Mango Tree. I danced until my knee seized up (and broke my sandal...TWICE), sang until I lost my voice, laughed until my belly ached, and just thoroughly enjoyed a fun-filled evening with my incredible people. The next morning was another story, with some missing memories,  but it was worth it. Evan said to me, "I haven't seen you that happy in years." Awww. It feels so good to feel joy again. 

Reunited! My OG island besties

"To the window....to the wall!"

It's like they know me. 

Don't do it. Don't do it. 

So there's the update. It all feels pretty good. Full disclosure, I'm still struggling with anxiety and pain. Unfortunately, the last 15 surgeries have caught up to me mentally and emotionally. But...I'm really working hard to feel better. My "team" has expanded to include a Psychotherapist (apparently I need to address the last 13 years? But do I? :),  a chronic pain physiotherapist, and a new pain specialist who flies down from Canada. I finally feel like I'm not just a passenger in my life "getting through" each day, but that I'm now steering the bus (maybe a party bus? Ha!). I feel more in control. I have the best support system, so although I know there will be some tough days ahead, I finally feel like I have all the ingredients I need to move forward. I'm so ready for this next phase of my life. 

Cheers!