Let's get the shitty news out of the way first...
Firstly, as a Speech-Language Pathologist for the past (gasp!) 15 years, I have mastered the art of padding bad news within an assessment report. There is a distinct formula: positive news, followed by bad news, followed by solution. For example, "Treshawn is a fun-loving and outgoing child (positive). Treshawn presents with profoundly delayed language skills (bad). Treshawn qualifies for services and will receive weekly speech and language therapy (solution). See? Everyone is happy! Radiologists, on the other hand, have obviously not been trained in the art of padding reports. When I received my MRI report of both knees all I saw was bad bad bad! "X is torn." "Total loss in y." "Z is absolute shit" (ok, it didn't exactly say that, but you get the gist). Nowhere in that report was any mention of how still I was able to sit for over an hour, or how positive my attitude is - WTF? Once I spoke with my Cartilage Guru in Philadelphia, I realized that it wasn't ALL bad. Two years ago I had 2 cartilage transplants and a meniscus transplant in the left knee. It looks like 1 of my implants is frayed and my meniscus transplant is torn. But....1 of my implants looks good. You hear that? GOOD. Very OKAY, thank you. Let's not even go into the right knee - it's still awaiting transplants and is deteriorating rapidly, but back to the GOOD implant in the left knee. Anyway, I need another surgery (scope) to clean things up and determine exactly why my knee is catching daily. We will also have a better idea if the big surgery two years ago was successful enough to proceed with the right knee. This will be surgery #11 (not that I'm counting), and I will receive another FREE set of crutches to add to my collection.
Interestingly, my reaction to this news is much different than my usual reaction, which is generally self pity. I do feel bummed, don't get me wrong. The pain does get me down. However, I feel the need to soften the blow to friends and family, padding this news with positive statements like, "It's just a scope," "I'm super strong right now," "I've had an incredible year," etc. A part of me feels like I've let my team of supporters down. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, and I loathe that look of pity when others see me limping or struggling to unlock my knee in awkward positions. I know this news upsets my family and friends, and I thank you so much for caring so much, but honestly, I know it will be OK. Even if my surgeon discovers that this shitty disease (Osteochondritis Dissecans) is progressing, I will deal it with, and have incredible people around me who will support me.
Anyway, moving on...
Have you seen the Netflix documentary on the Fyre Festival? The Fyre Music Festival took place in the Bahamas over year ago and was a complete disaster. There was absolutely no preparation or organization and thousands of people were left stranded in the Bahamas with no food, water, or live music, for that matter. When we found at that the first ever music festival in the Caribbean was taking place in Cayman this year, I couldn't help but worry that it might be a Fyre Festival Part deux. Thankfully, it was the complete opposite. Kaaboo is a music festival that has successfully operated in Del Mar, California over the past 3 years. It is specifically created for adults and includes music, comedy, art, and culinary experiences. We watched them prepare the venue for over a year, just down the road from our house. To be honest, initially I thought that there was no way that this space could accommodate 10,000 people. Boy was I wrong! Kaaboo was an incredible experience for us and for all of Cayman. Highlights for me included: no lines (it took us 6 minutes to get from our house into the festival), flushable toilets (yes!), partying with all of my favourite people, and incredible acts, including Flo Rida, Shaggy, Chainsmokers, Blondie, Jason Derulo, Live, Duran Duran, Counting Crows, Sean Paul, Brian Adams, Salt 'n Pepa, and Zed. Everyone at the festival was so happy! There was no pushing or shoving - thousands of people happily co-existed and had an incredible time. It was a very positive human experience - we need more of those in the world today. I can't express how awesome it was to hear Ed's smooth voice from the band, 'Live' crooning "Lightning Crashes" as the sun set over the Caribbean ocean. Arm in arm with my island buds, I really felt like life couldn't get much better!
To continue with the live music theme, a group of us girls from the island hopped on a direct flight to Tampa to see P!nk perform live. I'm not a big "girls' trip" kinda girl, and my opinion of girls' trips has been negatively affected by exposure to multiple Real Housewives episodes, where girls' trips generally include hair pulling and hard core manipulation. Thankfully, our girls' trip was nothing like that. Everyone got along. Everyone was chill. Everyone was on a mission to have fun. Perfect! P!nk was definitely the highlight to the weekend. She is an incredible entertainer! Have you ever been to a concert where you desperately had to pee, but couldn't bear to take your eyes off the stage...for even a minute? This was one of those concerts! I was super impressed with her ability to maintain her powerful voice whilst dangling upside down from a trapeze. She IS the real deal. And I really did enjoy the company - we hail from all over the world, and I had a lot of fun with this group of smart, fun, interesting, and witty women.
Funny side note: I got ID'd at the concert and did not have my ID with me (I'm almost 40 for cryin' out loud!). My island buds bought my drinks for me but ran into difficulties when the staff would not accept our Cayman Islands Drivers Licenses, as it wasn't a United States identification. Luckily one of the girls was quick on her feet and explained that Cayman was one of the US Virgin Islands (LIE!), and embarrassed by her poor geography knowledge, the staff happily served us. Oh dear. Time to step up the American social studies curriculum.
I took a hot minute to recover from my Girls' trip and process the knee news and then hopped on another flight to one of sister islands, Cayman Brac (notice how I keep using the word "hop"?? We all know that I can't hop. It must be my subconscious willing the knees to greatness). I digress...
This trip was much different than the girls' trip, as I was the only female amongst three boys for a few days. I must say... boys and girls are very very different. Shocker! I thoroughly enjoy spending time with both sexes; however, the activities and conversations that males partake in are much different than those of females. For example, where the girls' trip consisted of shopping, gossiping over wine, and some discussions involving feelings, the boys' trip consisted of physical activity, such as throwing rocks at a sign ("What do you win if you hit the sign?" "You just...win!"), and competitive drinking games. Come to think of it, there was some talk about feelings as I distinctly remember Monty being disappointed with a dice outcome and yelling, "Hey Dickhead! drink your shot!" Overall, I really enjoyed our Brac getaway. Despite the knee issues, I was still able to enjoy two beautiful dives and an entertaining road trip across the 12 mile Long Island with some awesome guys. A change of scenery is always a good distractor.
So as you can see, I'm either doing a pretty decent job of padding some bad news within my day-to-day life or I'm experiencing some denial. The jury is still out. As the surgery date looms closer, I suspect that I will have some "moments." But...our fantastic friends, Lindsey and Brad, are arriving on island next week for their first ever visit to Cayman. I'm looking forward to introducing them to our little slice of paradise.
Cheers!
